~2007~

shall i say a cryptic girl?

January

I am officially a spm leaver. I feel so great. No more uniforms. No more prep hours. I could just sit at home and relax. However, say hello to chores! My daily routine:

Woke up quite early. It varied. Around 7am - 11am. :P

Doing laundry.

Cooking. [oh my, very the simple ok. don't expect me to cook rendang]

Watching tv

Sleep

Eat

Prayers

Sleep

And more and more sleeps.

Other than that, half part of my house was under construction. My parents wanted to add one bedroom, one dry kitchen, extend the dining space and two bathrooms. What annoyed me the most was the dust!

house besepah sepah - renovating

February

I started to feel bored because I did the same lame things every minute, every hour, every day!! I always thought of getting a job but it just that it didn’t happen. Plus, my parents wouldn’t let me. Now I think that was what we call laziness. LOL. Oh yeah, one more thing, I reconciled with my ex. [duh!]

March

This month was the most exciting month!! I received my spm results. I broke up with my ex [it wasn’t that serious. Well, puppy love]. My result was beyond my expectation but I was really grateful. Thanks to our teachers and the rest of ORION. And the very important people who always on my back, my parents and my siblings. On that very day also I met my besties!!! I was so happy that I was supposed to dinner with my family but I didn’t because I wanted to chat with them. Izairah and Julie Carolinda are my bff~ miss you both a lot. Huhhu~ then the application for scholarship began…. Oh yeah, the last day of the month was my 18^th birthday. Wee~ and then and then i got my license and then and then before that i also langgar a pili bomba yang tidak bersalah itu kerana saya tidak menekan break instead tekan clutch! huhu oleh itu saya pon fobia dan tidak memandu until NOW.

orion the great. i treasure the memories of us..

April-May

ibu bedot (my aunty) gave us a kitten that we just simply named him MiMing. he was so well-behaved that he went to the toilet every time he wanted to do his business by himself, without i had to train him. well, actually i did once. he was such a nice cat. we had ciweet too, an adult cat. unfortunately, i couldn't find his photo.

miming I

I applied for MARA, PETRONAS and BPG. A few week later, I went for their interview. Educamp was great! Mara’s was tough for me because i was the last one and it was getting dark so i could see they were very tired. Oh yea, I didn’t attend the BPG’s because I got accepted by petro to pursue my studies in civil engineering in UTP. And then and then,on the last day when I had to fax to Petro to confirm whether I accepted the offer or not, Mara result was out. It was Sopi who woke me up telling about that. Haha sopi sopi.. after that,I discussed with my parents which offer to accept and I go for MARA.

niza, me and chi chi. after interview. phew~

Ha, saya juga dpt KMJ, which saya sangatlah HAPPY sebab saya dapat jumpe my bff, MASTURA aka MASTUR aka MASTORO. Huahuahua tp disebabkan saya dapat UTP jd saya terus tidak jadi pergi ke KMJ. Huhu saya sangat sedih. For UPU, saya a bit kecewa because I wanted to go to PASUM but instead I got Uitm. Erm, course ape, x ingat lah plak. Saya ini very lah the pelupa. Hehe

June

This month, I was quite busy. Busy utk uruskan all the things untuk masuk ke INTEC itu. Medical checkup was expensive. Haiya, it was my mistake sebab buat kat normah yang very the high class itu. And then on 29^th I flew off to KL with my parents to register at Kolej Cemara/Akasia on July 1^st.

July

holaa.. INTEC, . The registration process was a bit unpleasant but the orientation week was great. I like the way they [the facilitators] conducted every session. beya and addy, the dendrone juga ada di intec! wee~ [bosan lah asek jumpe korang je, haha kiding~!]

A week after that, we started having classes. Saya dapat class GLENDALE. Masa mula mula sangatlah the very tak sukaaa sebab well you know lah semua baru kenal and of course lah feel awkward. haha childish lah ai ni! Wani plak sangatlah bising! Haha tp now saya suka ada wani sebab die buat class meriah~! if wani xde mst senyap gill class wa cakap lu. hee..
there were 22 of us. Me, Hannah, Lynn, Matun, Shieren, Farhana, Al, Ridzu, Zaid, Bazli, Azri, Luqman, Along, Kamil, Reky, Piji, Helmi, Wani, Boo, Miem and Faiz. yeppy, I still remember every each of them! oh ye,and my roommate is Zizah, while the other two housemates are Nadd and Farah. Zzah is really really really and the very very good in math! i learned a lot from her. cool kan? nadd is very very very the cool one, rumah banjey pon die rilex je tade panic panic like the rest of us. hehe and she loves makan yang pedas pedas! and farah, she is very very very the gorgeous and she's the hicom of ATUSA as vice treasurer.

curik from faiz. lawa seyh~

me and zzah and nad on the left [the one yg pakai specs] we should take more pic nadd!!

August

My miming I died. my sis told me on my way to leave akasia to stay with beya for a week. i cried badly because i loved him very much. it saddened me when i realized i would never see him again. even for raya.

miming after he was hit by car.

and then during holiday erm, about one week, I went merempat at beya’s house. Hehe a zillion thanks to beya and family for giving me shelter and care when I need one. I also make a full use of the holiday to get done my dossier which had taken me like forever!

beya and her sis ,wawa. sangatlah kelakar their acting. very the pelakon! hihi

beya's parents. thanks pakcik and makcik!

September and October

Yahoo! Bulan puasa sudey datang!~ bukak puasa at akasia erm erm was okay lah. Of course lah mestilah cannot lawan the very the sedap food at home. however, the bazaar sangatlah great, food sangat banyak but yang very the sad, no mee kolok! Huhu I can only find mee kolok back home, oh I love kuching! miaw miaw~
after SAT, I flew off to Kuching for Raya.. this could be my last raya in kuching… and the paling best when miss deela and her husband came to my house! wee~ and the funny thing was that, my parents happened to be her husband's parents friends. ha macam tu lah kan. so my parents kenal lah miss deela's husband. and then bukaklah ceritera masa kecik kecik dulu kala itu dan kami pun asyek ketawa sahaja. what a small world! miss deela took every each of kek lapis at my house and then my mom served them maruku, which was kind of pelik they said. hehe well, my house is unique~! and also kan, this year abah bought machine air, alah yang seperti di kedai-kedai itu sebab malas nak hidang hidang, buat self service aje. and that thing became the biggest attraction when people came to our house and jadi topic perbualan lah jugak. this raya memang unique lah bagi ai~

then balek saje, EXAMS! FINAL EXAMS!!! I think the most challenging for me,was the critical reading subject. I was sangatlah kantoi in this subject.

Abg Is [m Deela's husband], miss Deela, ME [haha apekah expression d wajah ku itu?], mak and abah.

miss deela and i. miss datang rumah sayer ok~ tade niat untuk belagak. haha ;P

pijan, why, me and zzah at isma's place

firuz,me zzah, isema, amoi and sedeq

November.

Exams ended on 1^st November [if I’m not mistaken] and then and then….GENTING TRIP!! It was fabulous!!!!! We, the Glendalion planned the trip lead by miss Deela and Miss Sheela. Miss Syaza and Miss Deela’s husband, Abang Is also followed us.

miss syaza, miss sheela, me, matun and shieren.

us in genting.

before going to genting, i went out with some of my friends to PAS to just wasting our time since we had nothing to do. haha best gilerrrr, we played bowling!! dahla 2 round, rm8 sorang plak tu. sangat murah lah itew kan. then ari ari yg seterusnya, me, matun, miem, and sabrina went to Sungei wang, Low yat and times square. ini pon sangatlah best nyer dengan kaki pon sakit sakit wo. but it was really fun!

matun, ridzu (standing), ratu bowling; sab and raja bowling; azri. inilah kawe kawe saye yang cantik cantik dan kacak kacak belaka ;)

me and matun at Plaza Alam Sentral and this huge teddy. rase nak curik! hehe

miem, matun and sab at times square. kami suker jalan jalan!~

Oh yea, me and Nani the president [of Dr sheikh cawangan INTEC, we created ourselves, suka suka menggedik gedik :P ] went to REBUNG!! Haha funny funny!~ dahla sesat mula mula sampai tu sampai nak putus asa tapi berkat kesabaran we found jugak rebung and huyo memang agak expensive lah, well it's a high class restaurant but for me, it’s worth it!! And the foods were huyoh pedas gilllerrrrr I tell you. Dahla saya ni xmakan hot and spicy foods sangat memang x tahanlah dengan kepedasannya!
Bleh tangkap-tangkap gambar wo tp not with dr sheikh lah becoz he wasn’t there, with his pictures sahaje. Haha but ok what? And we would go again, kan nani?? Hehe this time baik kter makan buffet kan..

me the vice president and nani the president. ;P

And then and then I was all alone in Akasia…. Zizah went back home since she has finished her toefl on Nov 3^rd. Mine would be on dec 8^th. That was the reason for me to stay. I wanted to go back home, like duh, who doesn’t? But it would cost a lot of moneyyyyy and its not really that worth. I thought.

On 16th, I went to Raudhah Camp together with Nadd to join the Be-U-Teen program. And it was a blast! The camp is about LOVE. Frankly speaking, tidak pernah pernah terlintas di hati saya ini to join that kind of program neither did I ever join this program too. It was not lah about love love things, it was more to what real love is, love to Allah, to Nabi Muhammad SAW, to humans, to animal and etc. tapi the sangatlah tidak gembiranye, saya telah membuat rekod peribadi kerana telah diserang oleh TIGA ekor , saya ulang, TIGA ekor, pacat mase jungle trekking. Huhu lepas itu I felt very the x nak to masok into the jungle ever again!!! Uwah~

be-u-teen camp. after jungle trekking and mandi ayer terjun yang very the cool!~ and di sinilah pacat pacat menyukai sayer ye adik adik.

December

Yes, this is my favorite month. on the 1^st , I sat for SAT [reseat] and TOEFL on 8^th dec. My family except my dad came to KL and then we went SHOPPINGGGGGGGGG….!!!~ haha everything was cheap and led us to spend quite a LOT. Alah, like mum says, bukan selaluuuu. Yeah, love u mom! then we went to Sunwayyy Lagoooonnnn…! Bestlah jugak because saya dapat swimming!! sudey lame x swimmingggggg~~ rinduuuu~~ and my lil sis was sangatlah very the jealous because she couldn’t float in the water like what I am capable of. Bwek!~

lan and mom. next to mr aumm's cage~ tiger itu bah

sunway lagoon

big sis [in green], lil sis mira, mom and me

waiting for my bro in dunkin donut after 'indulging' ourselves in popular. i wish i could own myself one [ the dunkin donut]

And then on 11^th sangatlah sedih, we flew back to Kuch and no more shopping…~ but welcome HOME!! I love being at HOME!!!! It is so comfy and I feel alive..!

view taken from airplane. spectacular. beautiful. indeed. subhanallah~

And then and then the SAT result sudey pun kluar, and I’m so glad that I passed the exam and for the toefl too. In short, I’m glad I passed SAT,TOEFL and CGPA for 1^st sem. But saya sangatlah x puas hati dengan result yang cukop-cukop makan itewww… I must struggle for next sem!!! Ganbate~!

and these are our cats, our miaw miaw, the love of our lives~ i hope they will stay healthy and continuing their life as long as they could with thus. si kunin died yesterday at 2.30 am. i witnessed her death. and and and i cried badly. saya sangat sedihhhh sebab it was just too tragic for him. i didn't expect him to leave us that soon.

i am bulat. coz ppl say i'm very the bulat.

and i'm Miming II or Timmy

Now that 2008 has come, i welcome you with a big hug and kisses. muah muah~ haha

I hope for the years to come, more happiness will be!

MY DEFINITION OF 2007 : UNPREDICTABLE

happy and sad. inilah suratan takdir.

This suppose to be written on 30^th dec. tp ada kesilapan teknikal yg xdpt dielakkan.

Today is mom’s birthday. Happy birthday mak!

mak and nenek.

Today is also the day when something bad happened.

Si kunin telah terlibat dlm kemalangan jalan raya. saya sangat sedih.

"Nektok nya dlm toilet. Aku nang tekejut gney nya gik bedaya bejalan pg toilet nak jaohlah juak ya. Aku kesian glak ngan nya alu aku angkut nya to where he wants to go. Sian aiyh. Then my sis said that nya mcm mok mati. Aku pon rs kedakya. Dlm 2 hours before ya, nya knk langgar abah. Oh again. To pusak keempat knk langgar. How sad. First was momo then cici then recently in august this year, miming I, and just now, si kunin or ucu. This is fate. Dah jd camya ne dpt polah papa. Aku rs nya dah paralyzed. Tedah aiyh rupanyaaaa. Aku sa mok nangis jak. Aku xda la rapat lak ngan nya tp he is my cat too! Aku layak rasa sedeh juak. All my family members tangga nya nak tgh nazak ya except adik ku mira ya sbb nya dah tido. And when I woke her up telling that kunin is dying and nya madah, dah mati neynak molah. Hesh. Mst mamai ya. So kakya, aku engkah nya dlm bakul. Mula-mula ddok luar kakya engkah rah ruang tamu. Kakya nya mcm menahan kesakitannya. KESIAN GILAK GILAK. Then nya tba2 jak kluar dari bakol kakya mbok azie engkah nya balit dlm bakul. Then suddenly tiba-tibanya nait atas kusyen. Nya mok gurin rah tempat nak nya salu gurin. Huhu sian sian. Kakya aku engkah nya atas ya lapit ngan surat kabar sbb ekor nya kotor. Kakya tiba tiba nya turun ke dibah alu elek elek jak sia. Tedah li juak. Aku rasa nya mok tido sbb tok waktu tido nya tp kotan sakit gilak neyylaaa dpt tdo. Tedah naaa. Kakya tiba tiba nya belajalan tp bagey mok tegugok jak. Tedah gilak. Sa mok nangis jak rasa. Kakya aku rasa nya mok g toilet alu aku embak nya sia alu nya minum ayek tp bagey susah jak nya mok minum. Huhu gila tragis. Kakya aku tandah jak nya dlm toilet. Aku dah sik sanggup mok tangga nya. Aku doa sak nya dapat betahan. Aku rela nya mati mun ya lah dpt ngilang sakitnya. Huhu aku sik tauk brp lamak nya dapat betahan. Mun nya dpt idup nang miracle lah!"

si kunin menahan sakit.

miming II aka timmy and si bulat and the very kesian miaw, si kunin.

Sorry if u don’t understand the above. In the nutshell, I’m sad because my cat is about to die and i can do nothing to make him feel better. Cats come and go. huhu i don't think i can sleep well tonight after what has happened. insomnia. again.

:(

ok ok okayyyy. what what what had happened to me?

its like this. after i got back to my home, and i wanted to update my blog. what i found a few minutes later was that i had forgotten my password! oh my. it took me one hour [inaccurately] to figure out the forgettable password and i ended up clueless! it was my mistake for not keeping my password safe and secure in somewhere. then i decided to create another blog which was at wordpress.com. after a while, i felt that i liked blog post's style more. so, i left wordpress. then i created a new account and pop! walla! suddenly i found this account!! what a miracle! LOL. after that, i deleted the latest account which i have written one post, a welcome post in it. never mind. now i am so happy that i can write in my very first account!!! ahaks. i think i sound like a sakai people. haha why should i care? oh, i have loads to write!

oh no. what the heck?

okay.. i almost feel like to laugh at myself. whatever happened between the day i have seated for SAT until the previous post, i think i've been cazy.


in sum, i've almost settle everything and now my heart is 100% FOCUSING on TOEFL.


this SATURDAY. wish me luck!



i'm FINE.

i'm not me.

okay. now is 5 am. so i decide to not to sleep. because if i sleep, i will likely to miss my subuh prayer. therefore, i must take a safety precaution. that is to stay awake.



and in my head now...


full with formulations............................................. HOW TO SETTLE MY PROBLEM!!!!

i couldn't sleep because of this. damn it. there you go.


i wish i could turn back the time. turn back to the time when i was little and pause at that time for as long as i want. lol. that can't never be.


i have sent two text messages at 4 am. they must think i'm crazy. inaccurately, but yes i am almost not crazy but i am just not me. i hate this feeling. i hate when i have to face it all alone. the messages were sent to my friends..one to rizu and one to zaid. both asking about my problem. because they have changed their first name on the other day. i expect one of them to reply my messages during subuh hour.

i hope i can sleep well tonight. i hope i wil hear good news. 3 hours to 8 am. i will get myself to intec at 8.30 am. i hope mr sohami will be there. if he won't then i'm almost dead.


uwargh. [scream my head off]


i need to calm myself. but i just couldn't. i have tried to sleep but still i can't.

and yes. my sis won't come to my place today. maybe tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or the day after the tomorrow day. her friend wants to bring her to somewhere. ok. i don't mind.

while my friends are enjoying their holiday, i am hardly facing this problems by my own. oh yea, suddenly i reminisce something from the past.


i have done so many wrongdoings. these are among of those that i could never ever forget:

> i broke abah's digital camera on its first week sold. i isolated myself for about 6 hours. haha that was FUNNY.

> i lost the ticket flight to KL and mom has to pay for it. there were some conflict between *** and ***

> i lost my ic, together with some money and atm card. that was during the merdeka night. no merdeka for me. i was intense.

> i dropped my specticles. [where? i can't tell you]


oh. now i feel a bit sleepy. but still my head is full of assumptions. i can't think straight. i feel like to jump to the lake.


i want peace. i want to cry. but it just hard.

+pening+

a new day has come.

dush-dush. all of a sudden i feel like a big rock just bumped into my head. dush-dush.

a problem has occured.


no


more than a problem have occured.


problem number ONE.

: : i just realize that i did not correct my FIRST NAME in my college board account. AND i can only make the correction by calling them. WHOA. to think about how much it will cost is making me dizzy. AND then i just REALIZED that i just did my SAT last saturday and there you go one MORE problem occur. where i did not do any correction on my FIRST NAME, i just did correction on the recipients. AND what is worst is that my first name was not the same as the first one. it was SHARIFAH only. when i took on OCT it was SHARIFAH NOR. where by my REAL first name is SHARIFAH NOR BAIZURA. and again, i did not change. i did not know of that. yes, shoot me, i was not aware of this. thus, i must change my first name for the dec test or otherwise i won't be able to check my scores online which will come out on 2oth dec. that means i have to wait for the result to come out on 31st dec, and i have to call OSSP to know my result. i wanna know my result on 20th. that is why i want to solve this problem. oh what a problem i have. FIRST NAME PROBLEM.

i was about to cry when i coerce my mind, my brain to think of a solution which is none other than - yes OSSP. they are the only person that can help me. ALHAMDULILLAH. i was stressed at first. then come to think of it, there must be a solution for this problem. i must think positively. which there is. the solution is to make a PHONE CALL to the states. [ mak, abah, it's expensive!!] but, for the sake of the university application, i have no choice. then i will call them and settle this things up ASAP. i need a 100% concentration to my TOEFL. oh about the SAT. hurm. no comment. all i can say it was harder than before and i'm thinking to register for january test. this is for the sake to meet the requirement by the sponsor.

so i have planned what i should do tomorrow.
: : : GO to OSSP and tell pakcik sohami my problems. even if i will be nagged. i don't mind. as long as i can solve this problem. : : : ask his opinion about taking the jan test.

okay! i feel relieved now. at least i use my brain to think rationally then letting my emotions to go overbroad.


problem number TWO.


: : INSOMNIA. sleeping disorder. it is 3.32 am and walla, my eyes are WIDE OPEN like an OWL. i slept for two hours this evening. served me right. i hope i can wake up early tomorrow because i need to see mr.sohaimi tomorrow. this is very crucial. i know i will be very sleepy tomorrow but i must solve this problem. i don't know how to cure problem number TWO. can i just ignore it?


problem number THREE.


: : it's not a problem actually. i'm just being nervous. i will be sitting for toefl on this saturday. it will start on 3 pm. so i need to do a LOT of practises during evening though i know i will easily become somnolent. i did practise test just now. and i must do MORE.


uh. uh. uh. i feel like to scream out loud!!! This SAT problem really really get me on nerves. Frankly speaking i hate all those things. i hate when i can't do anything rapidly and let my mind ease. although i have found the solution, uh no, it was not a solution but i found the route to achieve the solution, but still i can calm my self. i can't sleep! why did i made such mistakes where i could have avoided my self of doing so?? why?? why i can stop from doing mistakes?? why did i realise now?? why didn't i realize when i took the test at the first place?? honestly, i feel totally stupid. FYI, i can easily get panic and distracted when i face problems. don't ever say i never try to overcome this behavior, i DID ok. it just that this is natural response. UH uh i want my mommy. what a bad day! sigh~ NOw i know how hard it is to FLY.

i guess i can't be too happy of what ever i get. i was more to relief when i meet the sponsor requirement for gpa. ALHAMDULILLAH.

i guess ALLAH THE MIGHTY wants to see whether i can take this 'test' or not. don't give up. don't.

ALLAH THE MIGHTY... please give Baizura some strenghts for her to face the days ahead of her...

i can only pray for the best now. i want and i pray i can sleep soundly.


my LAST problem is.


i'm homesick.

missing. again.

deyh. i wrote so many things about what has happened recently and walla, i lost them.
it's ok. i'll write again tomorrow. gudnite. ;)

apologize. how hard can that be?

loving. it.

i got time!

familiar with the line above?

"i got time! i got time!"

-but where does he get the time??-

deyh. he owns astro maa.


lol. a reminiscence from a long time ago advertisement.

today is monday. and it is 3 am. i can't sleep early lately. it's getting hard for me to go to bed since i live all alone. monday. MONDAY. monday is mundane. yeah, every monday morning during miss Yaya class, that was our favorite excuse for being quite and giving a solemn face to her. though i sat in front of her, well besides hannah, i couldn't hide my somnolent face from her eyes. haha.. but i seldom slept in the class ok.
i wrote this blog of some particular reasons.
FIRSTLY, because so many people own their own blog now. so i'm imitating them. duh, no lah. it looks like FUN.
SECONDLY, i want to improve my writing skills. i really dO. it is part of learning. i like.

i want to write so many things. about my family, my friends , my schools, my life. but i'll take it one at a time. no need to be rushed though time is running out.

first sem has passed. GOOD BYE. you give me a big headache. but i learn from all the mistakes and wrong doings i've done for the past erm inaccurately six months. so let be gone by gone. [is that correct? ]
i've heard somebody did her 2nd sem's resolution and i grew interest to do so. so here they go..

my RESOLUTION for NEXT SEM --> SPRING 2008 are:

1. study harder. harder than i did in any examinations. [including spm] i must and compulsary with the greatest effort to score well and aim above 3.5 for gpa or else... [don't want to mention it]
2. be fully prepared for quizzes.
3. stop wasting time. avoid procastinating. more specific, reduce daydreaming! i don't think i can stop it, this is innate. lol.
4. hang out only when i really free. even to the shops near akasia.
5. spend MORE wisely.
6. own a camera digital by my own efforts, my own money. i've been wanting for this gadget since last year, still i didn't manage to accomplish.
7. increase my reading material. read more books. especially in english.
8. eat less. say TAK MAU to junkfood.
9. lessen the time with tv, mp4 and online.
10. have a good time with everyone.

TEN. for now. as a volatile person, i may add up more to give more length to the list or i might delete any of them. sigh~ i'm such like people say, no pendirian. hey, i have the right to make decision right.

i've got to doze off now. it's getting late. oh no, it's very late.

november 25th 2007

i've created a blog here. syabas.