a new day has come.

dush-dush. all of a sudden i feel like a big rock just bumped into my head. dush-dush.

a problem has occured.


no


more than a problem have occured.


problem number ONE.

: : i just realize that i did not correct my FIRST NAME in my college board account. AND i can only make the correction by calling them. WHOA. to think about how much it will cost is making me dizzy. AND then i just REALIZED that i just did my SAT last saturday and there you go one MORE problem occur. where i did not do any correction on my FIRST NAME, i just did correction on the recipients. AND what is worst is that my first name was not the same as the first one. it was SHARIFAH only. when i took on OCT it was SHARIFAH NOR. where by my REAL first name is SHARIFAH NOR BAIZURA. and again, i did not change. i did not know of that. yes, shoot me, i was not aware of this. thus, i must change my first name for the dec test or otherwise i won't be able to check my scores online which will come out on 2oth dec. that means i have to wait for the result to come out on 31st dec, and i have to call OSSP to know my result. i wanna know my result on 20th. that is why i want to solve this problem. oh what a problem i have. FIRST NAME PROBLEM.

i was about to cry when i coerce my mind, my brain to think of a solution which is none other than - yes OSSP. they are the only person that can help me. ALHAMDULILLAH. i was stressed at first. then come to think of it, there must be a solution for this problem. i must think positively. which there is. the solution is to make a PHONE CALL to the states. [ mak, abah, it's expensive!!] but, for the sake of the university application, i have no choice. then i will call them and settle this things up ASAP. i need a 100% concentration to my TOEFL. oh about the SAT. hurm. no comment. all i can say it was harder than before and i'm thinking to register for january test. this is for the sake to meet the requirement by the sponsor.

so i have planned what i should do tomorrow.
: : : GO to OSSP and tell pakcik sohami my problems. even if i will be nagged. i don't mind. as long as i can solve this problem. : : : ask his opinion about taking the jan test.

okay! i feel relieved now. at least i use my brain to think rationally then letting my emotions to go overbroad.


problem number TWO.


: : INSOMNIA. sleeping disorder. it is 3.32 am and walla, my eyes are WIDE OPEN like an OWL. i slept for two hours this evening. served me right. i hope i can wake up early tomorrow because i need to see mr.sohaimi tomorrow. this is very crucial. i know i will be very sleepy tomorrow but i must solve this problem. i don't know how to cure problem number TWO. can i just ignore it?


problem number THREE.


: : it's not a problem actually. i'm just being nervous. i will be sitting for toefl on this saturday. it will start on 3 pm. so i need to do a LOT of practises during evening though i know i will easily become somnolent. i did practise test just now. and i must do MORE.


uh. uh. uh. i feel like to scream out loud!!! This SAT problem really really get me on nerves. Frankly speaking i hate all those things. i hate when i can't do anything rapidly and let my mind ease. although i have found the solution, uh no, it was not a solution but i found the route to achieve the solution, but still i can calm my self. i can't sleep! why did i made such mistakes where i could have avoided my self of doing so?? why?? why i can stop from doing mistakes?? why did i realise now?? why didn't i realize when i took the test at the first place?? honestly, i feel totally stupid. FYI, i can easily get panic and distracted when i face problems. don't ever say i never try to overcome this behavior, i DID ok. it just that this is natural response. UH uh i want my mommy. what a bad day! sigh~ NOw i know how hard it is to FLY.

i guess i can't be too happy of what ever i get. i was more to relief when i meet the sponsor requirement for gpa. ALHAMDULILLAH.

i guess ALLAH THE MIGHTY wants to see whether i can take this 'test' or not. don't give up. don't.

ALLAH THE MIGHTY... please give Baizura some strenghts for her to face the days ahead of her...

i can only pray for the best now. i want and i pray i can sleep soundly.


my LAST problem is.


i'm homesick.