and so..

it feels like you have no one to hold on to.
you feel like everyone is there but something is missing.
just like a puzzle when there's one hole appear.
it is incomplete.
it is weird when all my hopes and dreams are gone.
every bit of it.
it is funny when what i thought of or wished for become true when right at this moment i don't want them to be true.
not any of them.
if only that someone can read my mind.
but i know.
there must be a blessing in disguise in this misfortune.
even if it is not.
then believe in faith.
always.
when you feel like crying but you keep it inside.
you hold it on until your chest almost pump out of your body.
you never feel more than happy watching simpsons.
but for just these days.
everything seems awkward.
everything seems antagonist.
your reactions contradict the situation.
you feel like an alien.
i need more time.
i need more space.
i need this and that.
isn't what you get is more than enough?
because we never feel content.
i ought to be someone i want.
i ought to be someone i admire.
i ought to be someone i dream of.
i hope.
i hope.
..........
it struck me when what i imagine won't come true after all.
i hate to face the truth.
i'm afraid to see what i shall see.
i'm afraid to leave what i started.

deep down inside.
i'm afraid.

but someone says,
"we will always be in your heart."

insyaAllah.
give me guidance.
give me faith.
give me blessing.
utmost all,
give me strength.
because...
i need one.